Haven't logged here for quite some time... It's been real crazy... Things I had to do in my mom's hometown. That's where I was when I learned I was pregnant. Knew I couldn't keep the child. It's the worst thing I could ever do. Worst thought I could ever think of. But its what needs to be done. I'd rather suffer the sin of murder than subject an innocent soul to a life of uncertainty. And at the same time I cannot give my daughter of 6 months anything less. I can't imagine what it's gonna be like for her, celebrating her 1st birthday while I'm giving birth in some hospital... Right now I'm not even sure if I could give her the life she deserves, but I could at least try... I could at least give her all the attention that she needs, if not the stuff she deserves to be having. I couldn't even afford getting her the vaccination that she's due for. She's long overdue for 4 shots already, and they're about to pile up. I try not to be depressed but I can't help it. Especially now that I've been laid off... I've never been more scared in my whole life. My savings are slowly depleting and its a cause of alarm. The Goddess has always looked upon me with mercy, and she has always been kind to me... I hope she never tires. I pray for her mercy this month... May the phone start ringing... I need that job...